My Mind, Your Mind, God's Mind?
by WammyHouseWhore
Summary: Hah! The tittle makes zero sense. This is just a collection of drabbles on Death Note. Rating may go up
1. Damage

Damage

I carve your initials in to my flesh, but I convince myself I'm not.

I'm surrounded by people, but without you I'm alone.

You left me L.

I suppose I'm overreacting....I...I just got so used to having you around.

You probably didn't know it but you were the altering factor in my sanity.

You thought I was a freak then? Well now I giggle at nothing, and cry when nothings sad.

They say I'm bipolar, but they cant just accept I'm crazy. You did L.

I suppose that's better, feelings deserve to be locked away...

Maybe its a good thing you left..Your the only person i couldn't hid from, and now look at my damaged sanity.

All because your gone.

Henh, this is never something I'd tell you.

Ever.

I Wouldn't want my cumpulsion and lack of control to ruin you.

More than it already has.

I must have put such a burden on you.

But it's gotten worse for me now.

Because your gone.

And I love you.

* * *

AN: yeah...fail...i wrote this while....i was kinda sad.

Though i do think (if written better) it's kinda sweet.


	2. You

**You**

My heart is racing

My breath is shallow

I can't concentrate

And all I'm dong is thinking of you.

I'm sitting here grinning

Silently laughing

All I'm doing is watching you.

In my mirror I line my eyes

The pigment of my skin lightens with every layer of powder.

I smile eerily.

I touch my reflection.

I pretend its you.

I wish it was.

I'm so flawed

Your so perfect.

Perfect, beautiful L.

I'm creeping slowly.

You.

Your my prey.

_Shall I wear your skin?_

_Perfect L?_

I'm slicing you open.

_Yes,_

_I shall_

I drape your flawless skin over mine.

Perfect Beautiful L.

Shall I wear your skin?

I grin at my reflection

_Yes, _

_I shall.  
_


	3. It's Just Jam, not Love

**It's Just Jam, not Love**

L moans as B licks sticky jam off of his neck.

B probes at L's entrance with sugar coated fingers.

Mouths collide and produce strawberry flavored saliva.

Gooey red liquid speckles the two bodies, in a mixture of jam and blood.

B, paying more attention to the liquid, lapping away in pure euphoria.

Brought to the edge be the bittersweet taste of bloody jam.

L, panting, sighing, disappointed.

The "I love-" of Beyond"s words making his heart race.

But the "jam" ending the phrase stung L's heart.

"Something wrong L?"

He sighed.

"No"

"I love jam you know."

"I love jam to, B....I love jam so much..."

* * *

AN:Lalalala well better than actually learning so...


	4. Lockers

**Lockers**

Cool metal sliding against hot flesh

Mouth's slick and wet, clashing in lust

Suppressed need, the wrong controlling right

Muffled groans and heated moans

Hands slipping under loose white shirts, stroking, gripping, pinching, taut white skin

Feverish grinding, locks digging into backsides

Foggy minds, glazed eyes

Trembling hands

Knees bent, waiting for give

Scraped backs, sitting on the floor

Rubbing knees, rubbing mouths

Aching hearts.

Foggy minds.

Raw need.

Raw lust.

Raw necks, dotted with red, rimmed with purple,

Sticky and bloody

Logic gone, need overpowering

Aching hearts beating faster

Raw need coming closer

Raw lust getting stronger

Heated moans and muffled groans, mingling in the acidic sugar coated air.

* * *

AN: goddamn...no matter how much I try, I just cant "paint a picture" with my words.

School teaches me nothing.


	5. Piano

**Piano**

Beyond sits quietly, watching as L's ghostly hands fly across the keys, producing a melodious tune.

He hums along with the familiar sound of the dark lullaby.

The crescendo of notes crash, as the song tapers off.

"That was wonderful, L.."

"Thank you, B. Would you like to try?"

Beyond shook his head minutely, the envisage of his failed attempt forming in his mind.

"Oh...oh no, L."

L just shrugged.

"You'll have to play sometime, B."

He proceeded to play a different song.

Back in his own room, Beyond pulled out a keyboard from under his bed. He had found it in the attic one day.

He placed his hands on the keys he's seen L play numerous times, and began to play the song L had played, completely by ear.

He hit all the right notes, but not as quick as L could.

He produced the right tune, it just wasn't as delicate a tune as L's.

He played good, just not as good as L.

Hurt, angry, Beyond clawed at the top of his right hand, creating five shallow cuts.

"Hands....never as good as L."

He clawed at his left hand, harsher this time.

He laid down and placed his hands on the key board beside him, watching his blood stain the ivory keys.

"Never...as good as L."

* * *

AN: I know how he feels, my hands are to small to reach all the piano keys...faulty genes...stupid stupid


	6. Piano2

**Piano2**

When it came time for L's second session with B, he hastily wrapped bandages around his scratched hands. Hiding the raw fresh scars.

"Hello, Beyond."

L greeted his pupil who's bandaged hands were in his pockets and his back was hunched over. Much like L's, just hunched in shame.

"Good Morning, L."

"What would you like to work on today?"

Beyond chewed on his lower lip.

"I'd like to observe you piano playing again."

"Very well, but you must play today as well."

Beyond hesitated.

"....Oh well, I suppose I'd much rather work on emotions today."

"I thought you wanted to work on the piano."

"...I...changed my mind."

"A good detective never changes their mind. It causes confusion with the senses and-"

"My hands are just sore L, I don't want to play the piano today."

L saw the slight twitch of B's hands in his pockets.

"Show me your hands, B."

"N-no, they hurt."

"Show me Beyond."

"No."

"Then due to your lack of cooperation, you are no longer my pupil, please get A for me."

Beyond was struck silent before hastily pulling his hands out of his pockets and showing L the bandages.

"Take them off."

Beyond silently unraveled the bandages.

He held his damaged hands out to L.

"B..." L's voice wavered, "What happened?"

"I got hurt."

"Beyond Birthday, tell me what happened, NOW."

L demanded, getting as close to yelling as he ever had.

"I'll tell you! I wasn't good enough L! I never am, and never will be!"

Beyond yelled, trembling, holding in the tears he refused to shed, hanging his head.

He began re-bandaging his hands when L grabbed them.

L stared down at the cuts in silence. Beyond tried to tug his hand away, but L held on firmly.

L looked at B, who's eyes were filled with bottled up shame and sadness. L tugged at Beyond's hand pulling him into a hug.

He pet Beyond's dark red hair.(1)

"Beyond, don't think you have to be like me. You excel at things I fail. Your so special B, one day you will surpass me in something, and your talents will get you far."

But not all the way.

The worlds greatest criminal was created that day.

* * *

AN: My idea of post-copy cat Beyond is him having Red Hair so..


	7. World Trade

**World****Trade****Center**

L had just been informed about the attack on the twin towers. The president wanted him to investigate.

"Send me all the information you have on the case."

L watched humbly as the pictures and video feeds flooded his screens.

He watched as little specks of people jumped out the smoking windows.

He heard the screams of children and men alike.

He saw the pictures of bodies littering the streets.

His breath caught in his throat as he saw a picture of a pale man with red hair and a prominent hunch.

"B.....Beyond."

L shook, he touched the screen that held the body of his former pupil.

"Turn it off Watari. Inform the president that I am unable to continue with this case."

The screens all went black one by one, ending with the one showing the man with the red hair and hunch.

It was the first night L cried himself to sleep.

* * *

AN: I worte this on 9/11...god...that was such an awful day...


	8. Love is?

**Love is...?**

Love.

It can change everything.

Love.

It'll make you crazy.

Beyond drew his idea of L's face on large sketch paper. It was the twelfth one that day.

He had fallen in love with him.

He had fallen in love with this image of a man that meant everything to him and who he was.

He had never met L, or spoken to him.

Yet, he loved him more than anyone could imagine.

Love, INFATUATION, it works in strange ways.

Beyond spent so much time thinking about L, his L, that his grades at Wammy's began to drop.

Though his position did not.

He wasn't worried, C was the closest person after B.

But everyone knows Roger wouldn't dare put that slob of a boy as L.

And A was dead, putting Beyond as L's first, ONLY heir.

For a while at least.

Two years of intense obsession and failure at Wammy's.

Then a boy named Near showed up.

Beyond fell in love immediately.

He looked exactly like his vision of L.

So he stole him.

Love.

It can change everything.

Love.

It'll make you crazy.


	9. L's Blood

**L's Blood**

Hot, wet

Running across Beyond's fingers, staining them.

The damp metal smell, Choking the L in front of him.

The dark red liquid, running down his face.

His arms.

His back.

Pooling around Beyond's feet.

Grinning, as the red pool grows black.

Almost the color of L's hair.

Yet more like the color of Beyond's.

Drip, Drip,

The shallow cuts bleed.

Drip, Drip,

The deeper cuts gush.

Drip, Drip,

L's blood.

Drip, Drip,

L's Blood?

Drip, Drip,

The shallow cuts on Beyond's face.

Running down his arms.

His back.


	10. Fever

Fever

_(Mello)_

Your to heated for your own good.

_(Sometimes you must,)_

Bite the frost.

_(Give up.)_

Vehement hostility.


End file.
